The Booger Pickin' Morons

We're not really morons, we just play one on TV. Ok, the TV part is not true. Take a little trip down a scary little road we like to call "the inside of my (our) head". We're like you, only maybe a little weirder. If nothing else, we can promise that you'll never know what might get said here... that's a real-deal promise.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

A Good Cause that Helps Others & You

I just got this email and will be looking for these in my neighborhood store the next time I need a little fix. Wonder if they come in the yummy new dark chocolate??
Easy enough to help a great cause while I help myself to a little chocolate!

New M&M colors
Pass this on to all of your friends. There are many women out there who
have breast cancer. Lets do all we can to support this cause.

New Pink &White M&M's

The maker of M&M candies has teamed up with the Susan G. Komen Breast
Cancer Foundation to raise funds through the sale of their new "pink
&white" M&M candies.

For each 8-ounce bag of the special candies sold, the makers of M&M
(Masterfoods) will donate 50 cents to the foundation. The next time you
want a treat, please pick up a bag (now sold in stores nationwide) - you
will be donating to a great cause and satisfying your sweet tooth. Just
think...If each of us buy one bag or two.... how much will be donated.
Buy a bag for a friend...........

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Looking Good!

Another older student and I have decided to start lying about our age. The "little kids" think we are nuts & old since we are over 30 (I'm 37; she's 47). We decided to add 8-10 years when people ask how old we are. You know, so they'll think "WOW!!! She looks great for her age!". We put it to the test yesterday when we ran into a fella I had classes with in the spring. We told him I was 45 & Theresa was 57. It worked!!! He said there was no way we looked that old.

How cool is that??

Then today one of my favourite professors said something about the song "In the Year 2525" which of course, no one knew except me. I did say I was not alive when the song was released but that I knew it from when I was younger. He said "Oh yes, you are 87! and look good for your age!" To which I said "HECK YEAH I look good for 87!" The other students laughed, so maybe they don't think I am really that old.

Try it out & let me know how your results are.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Ten Spot

Here you go....

1. What makes you laugh?
My friends' kids. They say and do some of the funniest things ever.

2. What's your favorite possession?
My memory box filled to the brim with fun things.

3. What superhuman power would you most want to have?
The ability to time travel.

4. What did you want to be when you were little?
A detective

5. What's your motto?
Life's a constant adventure

6. what would you do with $1000 spare cash?
Run away and hide. But, hide in plain site at every NASCAR race on the circuit.

7. WHat's your simplest pleasure?
Sitting on my porch, on a warm day, reading a great book

8. What would your "I'd rather be . . . " bumper sticker say?
"....on vacation"

9. What's the craziest fashion trend you've ever followed?
I, too, have never been fashionable.

10. Would you rather be a little smarter or a little sexier?
I'm going with shallow, folks, sexier. But, if I was smarter I guess that wouldn't matter, right? Oy.

My Second Ten Questions Answers

Here you go:

1. What makes you laugh?
Minivans with “Sport” on them. Every time, man, it never fails! Hi-freakin’-larious.
My kids, my husband, my own stupidity (not necessarily in that order).

2. What's your favorite possession?
My wedding band. My grandmother’s wedding band. My ability to laugh at almost anything.

3. What superhuman power would you most want to have?

The one that lets me do things like cooking, cleaning, and folding laundry in hyper speed.

4. What did you want to be when you were little?

5. What's your motto?
Why can’t we all just get along??

6. What would you do with $1000 spare cash?
Put it towards a trip to Europe or the Caribbean or Cabo.

7. What's your simplest pleasure?
Just sitting on the couch with all three of my men reading a book or having a tickle fight.

8. What would your "I'd rather be . . . " bumper sticker say?
At Neyland Stadium watching the Vols WIN!!!

9. What's the craziest fashion trend you've ever followed?
Um, I have never been fashionable.

10. Would you rather be a little smarter or a little sexier?
Folks, I am already so much of both that perhaps I should lessen them both up a bit! It's almost dangerous as it is....

Friday, September 15, 2006

10 more questions from the nosy fans.

1. What makes you laugh?
My wife- she’s the funniest person I know and her own laugh is infectious. When she gets going, she can’t stop and that just makes it better.

2. What's your favorite possession?
My Granddaddy’s WWII dog tags. My dad’s father was my hero and when he passed away my grandmother gave me his dog tags. I lost one of the two tags when I was run over by a car on my bike. I don’t wear the other tag anymore out of fear of losing it.

3. What superhuman power would you most want to have?
Yep, I used to think the x-ray vision thing would be the one, but I think I’d rather have Wonder Woman’s golden lasso of truth. How cool would that be? Ok, the invisible jet was cool too, but truth is even better.

4. What did you want to be when you were little?
How little? When I was really young, I wanted to be tall like the rest of the men in my family. When I was a little older I wanted to be a professional bass fisherman. Older than that and I wanted to ride bikes professionally.

5. What's your motto?
“If they aren’t saying ‘no’, they’re saying ‘maybe’.” I came up with that one when I was single and desperate.

6. What would you do with $1000 spare cash?
Like most folks, I’d pay bills if they needed paying… otherwise I’d blow it on something stupid probably because I’m a Pisces and we can’t hold on to money to save our scales!

7. What's your simplest pleasure?
Sleeping next to my wife. Ok, truth be told, making love to her… but sleeping beside her, with our toes touching and holding hands is pretty damned special.

8. What would your "I'd rather be . . . " bumper sticker say?
“… sane…” or “… “appearing in The New Yorker…”

9. What's the craziest fashion trend you've ever followed?
Ever believing that neon looks good on spandex- on me.

10. Would you rather be a little smarter or a little sexier?
Hard to tell without knowing which one people think I should be. I’d probably go for the smarter just because it sounds less shallow… but then again…


Tuesday, September 12, 2006

My Favorite Car

I read all about Judith's new car envy and she asked what our dream cars were. I've been thinking about it. I thought it would be an easy one that I could just comment on. I was wrong.

First of all, I'm not fans of SUVs. I couldn't ever drive a gas guzzling anything and feel ok about myself. I won't do that. I like the way the SUVs look, they just have the worst gas milage and I couldn't leave behind my 29/34.

So about 6 months ago, right when they came out, I went and drove one of the new Subaru Outbacks. It was going to be black, decked out and a five speed. Have you seen the sunroof on those bad boys? It was nice, though it felt like I was driving a tank. I was going to do the big trade in aaaaaaaaaaaaaand chickened out.

Then about 3 months ago, I went and saw my buddy down at Honda and drove the CRV and liked it. I could get the big super duper, heated leather seat business brand new at $300 over invoice. Couldn't get the manual, and at that price, that was ok. I took my car to the car wash and got the big detail package and everything so I could get top dollar on the trade in. When we sat down to sign the papers, I couldn't do it.

My dream car? I have it. It's a 2003 Mazda Protege 5. It's bright freaking yellow and the licence plates read MAMA P. I love it. I can fit both the kids in and don't feel like I'm driving a minivan. I feel like I'm driving a sports car, which I am. Not to mention, it doesn't define me, though it does represent me quite accurately.

Zoom Zoom.

The Next 10 Questions

Here goes . . .

1. What makes you laugh?
My girlfriends, when we have the rare occurance that we're all together. My kids make me laugh a lot.

2. What's your favorite possession?

If I only have to pick one. . . I would have to say my DVR. It has changed my life. I watch what I want. No random crap.
I am a huge fan of the Camelbak Water Bottle these days. I'm getting well over 100 ml of water a day. Can't beat that.

3. What superhuman power would you most want to have?

I am tempted to say xray vision, though there are more people I DON'T want to see naked than I do. I would love to be able to change my clothes as fast as they do and look that good in tights.

4. What did you want to be when you were little?
I wanted to be famous. There was a time in 1985 when I wanted to be the first female member of the Chicago Bears.

5. What's your motto?
Have a good attitude because it makes the tough stuff a hell of a lot easier.

6. What would you do with $1000 spare cash?

When we say spare, I assume the credit cards, etc are paid off. I would have to go with a cruise somewhere warm with my husband.

7. What's your simplest pleasure?


8. What would your "I'd rather be . . . " bumper sticker say?

"I'd rather be eating custard" I'm a fan of the huge frozen custard movement her in the upper midwest. Can't stop me. I should be the Michaels Frozen Custard spokesperson.

9. What's the craziest fashion trend you've ever followed?

I have to pick just one? I think I had the most fun with the party girl. I had all the hot pink wigs and furry short skirts - the kinds with the build in undies and matching short jackets. The outfits were off course complete with the huge platform shoes. I was really skinny and super hot. Not too mention WAY young.

10. Would you rather be a little smarter or a little sexier?

I wish I was smart enough to have finished college, but not sure I would have been any further in my life as an art teacher. Not to mention, it doesn't get any sexier than this . . . hahahahahahahahaha!

There you go folks . . . enjoy.

The Car I was Dreamin' About

So, there's a car that is a new model for 2007 and my hubby & I have been looking at it online. We even went to the dealer about a month ago to see one in person but they are all on back order. Yesterday we got a call that they had one come in & the folks that preordered it had backed out, did we want to come and look at it. You know we were on our way!

I had a 1989 LeBaron convertible that I bought with nine miles on it in my younger days. I loved that car! It was awesome! My daddy had always told me that if I ever had the chance to have a "boat car" to get it. So I did. The Bitchmobile (hey, you name your cars, don't you??) made my twenties so much fun! I loved that car. But it got stolen from me twice! Jerks!

Anyway, now I am old, married, two young kids but still jonesin' for a convertible. I just love them.

We go to the Volvo dealership. We test drive the car. It is sweet! Really smooth drive and lots of cool features. But you know, I just don't know. Maybe in a few more years when the boys aren't so young. I was really diggin' the S60 and S80, though. I like this color, which is not offered on the C70. Why not???? Why is it offered on some models but not the other? What is up with that??? Shouldn't I be able to get the color I like? I don't like the Celestial Blue color. It looks a little too sissy for me! And the Magic Blue is awfully dark. Come on! Give me the Barent's Blue in the C70 folks. And who comes up with the color names, anyway? I mean, how do I get that job? I want to name the make-up and car colors. What a crazy job.

Okay, so what's your favorite car??? Realistically speaking. I mean, I would dig a CLK 63AMG but I don't have a spare $120K to get one!

Show me your car and let's dream a little!

Monday, September 11, 2006

Don't Get Me Started!

So Angie writes about serving sizes. Here we go. I'm doing the Weight Watchers Points stuff these days (9.2 lbs so far) and its ALL about portions. The thing is, we don't need any portion bigger than our fist - desserts included.

It is really frustrating to not get accurate portion sizes on the nutrition labels. If I can't get at least 1 cup of cereal at 2 g. of fiber in the bowl, game over. I get 20 points a day. I can justify the 3 points for 1 cup of cereal (Fruity Cheerios - Make with real fruit juice and 25% less sugar are my fave right now AND the girls think they're Fruit Loops) and 1/2 cup of milk. It's enough to get the metabolism going.

I will say that the portion problem is disgusting. Take any restaurant. You don't need 3 1/2 pounds of french fries. Super Size it? NO THANK YOU. I'm not just going to target McDonald's, take any restaurant. Most times, because of the bacon, dressing and cheese, salads aren't any better than just having a cheeseburger. Try having half a burger. That's my new trick. Gotta have it? Just have half of it. You get the flava and more times than not, I am pretty full from that comprimise.

There are these fruit drinks that I love. They're called Naked. There is one pound of fruit in every bottle. Wicked good, no sugar, super awesome healthy. My BFF who also is on WW, read the label, did the math and was ESTATIC because it came out to TWO points! Sadly, she did not read the entire label. It is FOUR points for the bottle. There are two servings in there. What a crock.

I agree that the industry is playing to us. We're smart enough to win this game. We are smart girls, Angie. Strong ones too. Take a low cal granola bar. Kudos has a Snickers one that is two points and the Chewy Granola Chocolate Chunk (90 calories bars) are both 2 WW points. Can't be that bad. They taste like money. Big fat money. I'm talking huge benjamins, baby.

Worse than that, folks, are the restaurants that don't give out their nutritional information. That REALLY rubs me the wrong way. Two that I'm aware of and won't frequent because of this fact is TGIFridays and Tony Roma's. I know a few sites that are awesome at getting even the hard to find restaurants and these two are nowhere to be found. I'm not even going to link their sites here. I know why they do it. They think that if they post them, us WW and other dieting people aren't going to go there. That's not true. If we know the points, we can plan accordingly, if we don't, we can't and therefore won't go. Dummies.

Ok. Big enough rant for you? Good start Angie.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Rant: Serving Sizes

Have you ever noticed that whomever makes up the 'serving sizes' on food containers is a little wacked? It's something that fascinates me constantly.

For example, I bought a vegan cookie yesterday at the store. Individually wrapped and way too expensive, but what the heck, right? It says 190 calories. Ok, not great, but good for me - or as good as any cookie can be. So I get it. I see now that the cookie, which is large but fits in my hand, has 190 calories per serving! And there are two servings in the cookie. In ONE friggin' cookie. Seriously. C'mon people. They are individually wrapped! ONE cookie = one serving. But, they know that if they put on the actual calories people won't buy them, right? Right! Racket.

Then there is the cereal in my cabinet. I've been well aware of this for awhile, but thought it was interesting. There are 12 servings in the box at 110 calories per serving (without milk). Great, right? Wrong. Each serving is 3/4 of a cup. C'mon when was the last time your cereal bowl had only 3/4 of a cup? Unless you mix it with yogurt or something, but a regular ole bowl of cereal with 3/4 of a cup. You have to be kidding!

I know we eat too much in this country, but make serving sizes be for humans, not birds! Let us know exactly how many calories we are really eating. Do not sugar coat it! This is where we all get into trouble (see cookie above - I'll eat it and I really shouldn't...). No wonder our country is obese. People look at calories, not always at serving sizes. Food companies know this and play to it.

The most outrageous serving size I've seen in a long time I found this week while traveling. I bought a water past security (which, by the way, was a huge amount of money, but the vendors have you since they know you can't bring in anything past security...but that's another rant). It was a brand I am not familiar with so I checked the panel to see if they added sodium (some waters do, which I find baffling....). They didn't. I also noticed that there were 0 calories, which is obvious. However, my eye strayed up to an actual number at the top (after seeing all the zeros). It was the serving size. Guess how many? Go ahead. Guess. It was an 8 ounce bottle. You know we are supposed to drink 3 of these a day to keep the doctor away, right? Or is that pounds? Whatever. So, you are thinking 1 serving, right? Nope. Two? Nope. THREE. That's right - three servings in this bottle that I downed in 20 minutes. There are no calories in the single serving bottle. Where do you come up with three? Seriously. CRAZINESS, I tell you. Who are these people making up the serving sizes? Who, I ask?!

That's my Sunday rant....

Friday, September 08, 2006

Quick Friday Fun

A very smart gal, Donna Tocci, posted about dark chocolate M&M's the other day. I've been out of the loop & hadn't heard this great news! Today while I was at BK's fave place, I picked up a bag. Ladies & Gentlemen, they are yummy! Of course, how can you go wrong with dark chocolate, but I still had to try them. I live near where they make them, so that is an extra treat. Of course, the chocolate factory stinks but hey, I can't smell it from my house!

Check out the newest M&M's.

Bunny Killers and Killer Songs

Last night my husband and I were outside getting eaten alive by mosquitos (the Wisconsin State Bird) and letting the dogs out. My little bichon poodle (see moniker) came waltzing into the garage with a dead bunny in her mouth. She was all proud and all - I was a bit horrified. I couldn't bring myself to touch it. Good thing BBB was there. I thought she had killed it - the little terrorist! Although, she must have just found it because BBB said it was cold. I was a little surprised at her conquest because we have an African American lab that can smell bunnies from about 12 miles away and LOVES to get the bunnies. He LIVES for getting the bunnies. How is it that my little Princess came back with it? That, my friends, we will never know.

Ok. That's really not that interesting. Just a little info on the homefront. Scary Movie 4 sucks. Super Aussie Hottie Boy Toby Rand is going to win Rockstar:Supernova.

I was just listening to a bunch of old Everclear. I love Everclear. Art is a babe. in fact, I once dated a poet in Minneapolis who looked like him. So beautiful. Anyways, totally forgot about this song they do called "Volvo Driving Soccer Mom". Pay the dollar and download it. It's ROCKING IN THE BIG HOUSE rocking. It is FREAKING hilarious. It reminds me a bit of myself back in the day. Dirty Mary put it on a mix TAPE a long time ago. I don't recall what album it was on originally. I since have downloaded every freaking Everclear song to my iTunes and laughed last night when it came on and I was making dinner. Volvo driving soccer moms. . . .hahahahhaha.

Pet Peeve

Wow - you've all been keeping busy while I was gone. Nice reading to come back to!

So, I was traveling the last two days and came up with another pet peeve. I know we finished that list last week, but, hey, indulge me.

People who smoke in enclosed areas or areas where they are not supposed to just piss me off! I'm headed to the airport and stop at the free standing ATM. Walk in and YUCK! Someone before me had been smoking. Excuse me - those things do not air out for days! There is no ventilation in them. UCK.

Then, I'm in the airport yesterday. Which one.....Dulles, I think. Yes, Dulles. Anyway, same thing - some chick was 'smokin' in the girls room'. What's the stupidest part of that? Other than the sign, in the bathroom, telling you not to the fact that the designated smoking room is DIRECTLY ACROSS FROM THE BATHROOM! Seriously, people. Have a little consideration.

Off to work now....didn't get home until 12:30am and not to sleep until well after 1:30am....didn't walk this morning but I'll be to work on time. There is something wrong with that, isn't there?

Happy Friday, y'all!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Is Katie Couric Taking Over the World?

I have yet to catch the dinnertime newscast with Katie Couric, though it's not because I haven't heard about the new position Miss Perky has attained. I am glad a woman has conquered the Good Ol' Boys club of newscasters, though I'm not sure I like some of the aspects that have gone along with her noteworthy position.

I can't stand the fact that the press photo of her was altered so dramatically it made her "lose" about thirty pounds. Granted, I did hear that the photo department got a little slap on the wrist and won't do it again. What is that telling women? I think it's a crock because I look at some of the models in the trashy girl mags that I read and they are disgusting! I was further upset by the fact that Katie didn't really say much about the whole ordeal. I kind of hoped she would have a Jamie Lee Curtis reaction. If you are unaware, JLC is rad because she won't let magazines airbrush her anymore. She doesn't like the message it sends to little girls. Doesn't Katie Couric have a daughter? Granted, I didn't expect her to write a series of children's books or anything, I just thought she would have taked a wee bit more of a stand. Maybe she isn't the person I want her to be. What's up with that?

I also found it amusing that when I got online this morning that "New on Google" has a thing where I can get the Katie Couric newscast on my DESKTOP! You don't say! You mean to tell me that I can have All Katie All The Time? No way! They never offered that to me with Dan Rather or any other newscaster for that matter. My question is this. Are they exploiting Katie Couric? Is Katie stuck between a rock and a hard place?

On another entertainment note. SURI CRUISE MAKES HER DEBUT! and boy is she cute! I love the hair. I'll definately go and pick up Vanity Fair today. . . read all about the Cruise's. According to the trashies, Katie wants out. I'll keep you posted. I'm the gal who wears the shirt SAVE KATIE.



Okay, on Tuesday my husband picked up the boys from day care. "Alex is kissing girls." Great, do you have any details? Like is he kissing the same one repeatedly or is he sluttin' it up? Is he disrupting class or just being his affectionate self & greeting everyone with a little kiss on the cheek? Are we talking just cheeks or lips or are we full on tongue kissing? Of course, Kevin did not know any of these answers.

Turns out he is smooching one gal in particular. She is new. He kisses her a few times throughout the day: when he first sees her, before lunch, after lunch, and before nap time. He did not kiss her goodbye when we left. Here's his MO: He kisses Naomi and his friend Will and then says "You are my friend". He kisses them both on the lips ("Very European", says Kevin) but no tonguage, thankfully. I spoke to Naomi's mom & she is thinking the same way I so long as neither is ill and there is no disrupting class time. I am not so sure Will's mom would be in the same mind frame. I don't know her or his dad. Frankly, I do not care that Alex kisses him. Glad that he is happy to share his love for his friends without the stigma that would surely be seen by some older kids. I asked him last night as I put him to bed about the kissing. He said "I kiss you, Daddy, Trevor, and my friends. We are supposed to kiss our friends."

I hope Will's folks do not freak out about it. I am proud that my son is so loving and affectionate toward his friends. How many times have you forgotten to love on your friends and then you are miles & miles away and unable to do so in person? Get to it!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006


I was thinking the other day... shut up, I was too... and aside from the painful sensations in my head, it was a reasonably pleasant experience. Not as good as a kiss from either of my kids, holding on to my wife or fishing, but not bad overall.

In the process of doing that thinking, I came to a few realizations;
Gas grills are the work of the devil. God intended all foods to be cooked over open flame, but I'm pretty sure he meant wood or charcoal. I own a gas grill now, out of convenience and because the smell of burning charcoual makes my wife nauseus (that shows how much I love her- I gave up charcoal for her). Yes, I cook some mean, yummy foods on the gas grill (my current favorite is grilled asparagus brushed with olive oil, and lightly coated with sea salt, crushed garlic and special seasonings. It's oh so yummy... but still the work of the devil. Does this mean that I and my family are headed to hell?
The only problem with having children in school (kindergarten and high school I might add) is the other parents. Ok, that's not the "only" problem, but it's the biggest problem. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate all parents I meet... just almost all of them. I've met some great ones, but most of them are just idiots... I'm sorry, that's the truth. If you are a parent I've met, hopefully you don't fall in that category. If you do... sorry.
I studied chemistry and physics in school- even changed my major in college to chemistry for a semester (then I realized I sucked at it), but I don't understand the basic laws of thermo- dynamics (Miss Judith "burn my mouth with food" might be with me on this one). How is it that I can go out and get super hot and sweaty and then take a cool shower, but then break out in a huge sweat afterwards? Shouldn't I be cooler from the shower so that I don't sweat more than I did when I was exercising? My wife claims that you are supposed to take a hot shower when it is hot, then when you step out into the cooler-than-the-shower air, you'll feel refreshed. Well, needless to say, I don't buy that theory. Still, there has to be some reason why when I step out of the shower, I instantly start sweating like I'm in a marathon.
Why is it that when it is cold outside and you are working out/ exercising, that your nose starts to run like crazy? I can be healthy as an ox, but get me sweating and suddenly my nose's snot juice factory starts working working double over time. Why? Do I need the sticky layer of booger crud on my upper lip to make me warmer? I don't think so...
Lastly, why is it that hot dogs come in packages of 10 but the buns come in packages of 8? Is it a weiner overload or a bun shortage? I have theories... but I ain't sharing.


Have you ever.....

burnt the roof of your mouth while eating? Man, I hate that! I did it once again yesterday. That just makes me feel like an idiot. DER!

Here's to a day free of mouth/tongue/lip burns!

Monday, September 04, 2006

Angie's Answers

Ok, booger are my answers to your burning questions.....

1. If you could change something in your personal life with the snap of your fingers, what would it be? (No Miss America answers please)
Most everything. Does winning the lottery count? I don't think that is something I can change, though, so technically that probably isn't a good answer. First and foremost, I'd get my dream job in a dream company (whatever that may be).

2. Who was/is the hottest man/woman in the movies?
I've always thought Jaclyn Smith is the most beautiful woman out there. As for guys....Denzel. And, I'd have to agree with Annie, Matthew M. is pretty hot.

3. What's your sincerely favorite thing?
Used to be snuggles with my doggie (RIP). Now? Reading a great book on a warm day on my porch with a bag of Chex Mix (bold & spicy) and a bottle of seltzer. I know I should have said with fruit or something, but that wouldn't be my 'favorite'.....

4. Your happy place?
See number three (during three seasons). During the winter - anywhere that is warm and away from the snow.

5. Pet peeve?
Funny you should ask this as I was going to write about this today anyway. I'm driving downt he highway the other day and, yet again, am amazed at how many people do not use their directionals. As far as I know directionals are not an 'option' item. They are in every single car, truck, SUV, minivan, motorcycle - you name it, it has a directional. FOR A REASON. Seriously, do you think I know what you are about to do? Or the guy in front of me - does he know? NO. We don't. AND, the thing that ticks me off - this is not a huge offense to the police so they don't pull people over for it. Case in point, a state trooper is in the passing lane and comes up on another car who immediately decides "eek, got to move over" and just goes into the next lane (no the lights on the police car were not on). NO directional! The cop continues along his merry way. NO directional. Pisses me off.
I, too, hate it when people don't give you a little wave when you let them out in traffic. Really - is it difficult? I don't think so. I could have let you sit there for another 15 minutes before another nice person came along. Grrrr...
I'll stop now....

Five Questions

1. If you could change something in your personal life with the snap of your fingers, what would it be? (No Miss America answers please)

I should really be nicer to my husband. He's awesome & I am really grumpy to him sometimes. I also wish I had better study habits and more patience. I would cuss less.

2. Who was/is the hottest man/woman in the movies?

George Clooney, Luke Wilson, and Vince Vaughn. Funny, dark hair, and tall is sexy in my book.

Jennifer Garner is a doll with her big dimples. I don't want to sleep with her though.

3. What's your sincerely favorite thing?

Football Saturday in Knoxville; filet mignon perfectly prepared and shared with Kevin and a good bottle of red wine; snuggles from any of my three guys; deep tissue massage; taking communion with Kevin and the boys.

4. Your happy place?

Neyland Stadium when it is rocking, aimless drives with some good music blasting, sitting in my oversize chair with a good book or one of the boys, holding hands with Kevin.

5. Pet peeve?

Like AE, I have a bunch. A few: Drivers in the fast lane going ten miles under the speed limit (why did you bother to leave your house?), drivers that do not get out of the right lane on the interstate when there is nothing in the other lanes & people are trying to get onto the interstate from a ramp, drivers that do not wave "Thank you!" when you do let them over, people that block the intersections, people that do not say thanks when you hold the door for them, people that will not return your smile or "Good morning", grumpy people (yes, I know this includes me), rude football fans, stupid people who think they are smart, judgemental people, people that do not recycle.
That's a good start but certainly not a complete list.


Sunday, September 03, 2006

Open Letter to the Booger Pickin' Morons;

One of our many fans posed the follwing questions to the Morons, so without further delay- here are the answers...

1. If you could change something in your personal life with the snap of your fingers, what would it be? (No Miss America answers please)

My hair- I'd love to have the long hair I had before Corporate America devoured my soul. At one time, I had long flowing locks down to the middle of my back. I have ZERO patience now and can't stomach the awkward "growing out" phase anymore.

2. Who was/is the hottest man/woman in the movies?

Woman- Rita Hayworth was hot... H-O-T, hot. So was Marlene Dietrich... that voice. Oh man..

Man- maybe I'm alone when I say Marty Feldman, but... c'mon...

3. What's your sincerely favorite thing?

Kisses from my daughter, sleeping next to my wife- toes touching, fishing/ cycling with my son, long walks on the beach in the rain while drinking pina coladas...

4. Your happy place?

Fishing anywhere in Fairhope Alabama, anywhere on my bike, anywhere with my wife, almost anywhere with my kids (except an airplane...), anywhere with a free/ open bar (preferably in Ireland)...

5. Pet peeve?

People with bad breath, shorts on grown men that reach their ankles, government policies designed to fail and humiliate the nation, bands with really crappy sound equipment that cuts out during a live performance (and drunken dipshits who insist on standing on my toes during a show so that I am forced to punch them in the back of the head and get asked to leave by the concert promoter... that really pisses me off)...


The First Five Questions

1. If you could change something in your personal life with the snap of your fingers, what would it be? (No Miss America answers please)
Honestly. I wish I could get my boss to quit lying to me about stupid stuff that I wouldn't care about otherwise. What's up with the lying? I don't like it.

2. Who was/is the hottest man/woman in the movies?
Easily Christopher Reeve. He was classic and smooth. He was the first pinup in my room as a little girl.
I'm also a huge Matthew McConaughy fan too. This makes my husband a little nervous as Lance and Matt are buddies and that's a little to close for comfort in his book.

3. What's your sincerely favorite thing?
Sleeping during a thunderstorm. I never sleep as well as I do when it's pouring out.

4. Your happy place?
My bed. I have one of those Tempur-Pedics. . . you can't go wrong there. Throw some clean sheets on her and you're good to go. Wow. Nothing like it.
Should I find it odd that the last two answers involved my bed? I must be tired. I hear mommies get that way.

5. Pet peeve?
I won't lie. I can't pick one. Here goes. Go grab some popcorn and I'll start rolling.
1. Fans. Ceiling, Oscelating, you name it I hate them. The sound, waking up to cold frigid air on my face and THE SOUND. We have central air. Enough already.
2. When someone uses a napkin or paper towel and crumples it up and leaves it on the counter when the garbage can is less than two feet away. COME ON! Cut me some slack!
3. I know a person who will "empty" the dishwasher and leave half the stuff out on the counter (typically next to a used napkin). What's the freaking point?
4. Stupid people. You know, the ones who don't even try. Think Paris Hilton. The ones who just say the dumbest things and MEAN it. My god.
5. Walking into a dark room. I just don't like it. Too many seasons of The X Files, probably.
6. Too much makeup. There is an acceptable amount to wear. In one of my trashy girl mags that I read, they had Jenna Jamieson and Anna Nicole with minimal makeup on and they were gorgeous. Also a note to older ladies. . . YOU LOOK OLDER WHEN YOU PUT ON MORE MAKEUP.
7. When people are DYING to make plans for lunch or something and always cancel at the last moment. That just gets old. Just don't pretend that you want to have lunch? I usually plan my day around that.
8. When you have adopted a semi-healthy lifestyle and people laugh at it. I've learned that they laugh because they're jealous that you're trying to do something good for yourself and they either haven't or they can't. It still tap dances on my last nerve.
9. Those who fail to listen and you have to repeat the same details over and over. People, I don't have this kind of time. Not to mention, if you aren't going to listen to the answer, don't ask me.

Ok. Now that I've alienated a diverse group of people and turn out to be the total bitch on board . . . I should sign off.


Saturday, September 02, 2006


I can remember
The first
I saw her
As if it were
The image
Into my mind-
Each long curl of hair draped down her slender neck and nearly reaching her back,
Until she pulled them up into a bun and held it there long enough
For me to see
Those two
Dark eyes-
Irish eyes.
I love those eyes and the way the conceal
And give away her every mood.
No eyes
I've ever known
Can sparkle
With such joy
Or burn
With such rage.
No eyes have ever held my attention like her eyes.
We never knew
That moment
Would lead to now
And this life
With children
And bills
And ruffled sheets filled with stuffed animals and childrens toys.
We never knew
What we know


Friday, September 01, 2006

Burning Question

So, I have a burning question of y'all. No, I'm not referring to the season ending episode of Rescue Me the other night. We all know Tommy is going to survive the fire....what I am referring to is a much more pressing, important question.

While y'all are having an exciting Friday evening of shinin' up the car for football or pacing the house watching football or catching up on some jet lag after a fabu trip, I'm here cleaning my fridge. Yup. Rip roarin' Friday night. But the question is....does Goldschlager go bad? It's been in there awhile, but I don't want to toss it out without being sure it's bad. Does it ever really go bad? I know Lemoncello does, but you can see that.

I know one of you will know the answer to this....I'm actually betting that it is Annie.


So the NCAA football season kicked off last night. Yippee! My favorite time of year. This is going to be my first year doing the college fantasy football league. I don't think I'll do very well, but it should be fun. I was a rookie in the NFL fantasy last year & won my league. I can't wait for the memorable moments to start happening! WooHoo!!


You may have struck first, but I've got a great story so I will win. Like usual.

Ok. Here goes. Had to try the 6" Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki sub at Subway - it's only 7 points you know! and while I was paying and getting ready to go, I saw a guy that I used to have sex with, the summer after junior year. Really big cutie, just hot on the hard core drugs and I wasn't in it that heavy. He also lived with my friend Dirty Mary and a few other people andANYWAYS I saw him at the Subway and did a total Un-Anniehrenberg move. I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. He looked at me and kind of cocked his head but didn't say anything either. Dirty Mary is currently giving me a hard time that I didn't say anything because she's under this crazy notion (I think it's the cold meds she on) that I look hotter now that I did then. Oh well. I have greasy hair today. Need to do something about that eventually.


First words...

Ha, ha! I struck first!

(Evil laugh, spooky music, wringing of hands...)