Open Letter to the Booger Pickin' Morons;

One of our many fans posed the follwing questions to the Morons, so without further delay- here are the answers...

1. If you could change something in your personal life with the snap of your fingers, what would it be? (No Miss America answers please)

My hair- I'd love to have the long hair I had before Corporate America devoured my soul. At one time, I had long flowing locks down to the middle of my back. I have ZERO patience now and can't stomach the awkward "growing out" phase anymore.

2. Who was/is the hottest man/woman in the movies?

Woman- Rita Hayworth was hot... H-O-T, hot. So was Marlene Dietrich... that voice. Oh man..

Man- maybe I'm alone when I say Marty Feldman, but... c'mon...

3. What's your sincerely favorite thing?

Kisses from my daughter, sleeping next to my wife- toes touching, fishing/ cycling with my son, long walks on the beach in the rain while drinking pina coladas...

4. Your happy place?

Fishing anywhere in Fairhope Alabama, anywhere on my bike, anywhere with my wife, almost anywhere with my kids (except an airplane...), anywhere with a free/ open bar (preferably in Ireland)...

5. Pet peeve?

People with bad breath, shorts on grown men that reach their ankles, government policies designed to fail and humiliate the nation, bands with really crappy sound equipment that cuts out during a live performance (and drunken dipshits who insist on standing on my toes during a show so that I am forced to punch them in the back of the head and get asked to leave by the concert promoter... that really pisses me off)...

MG