The Booger Pickin' Morons

We're not really morons, we just play one on TV. Ok, the TV part is not true. Take a little trip down a scary little road we like to call "the inside of my (our) head". We're like you, only maybe a little weirder. If nothing else, we can promise that you'll never know what might get said here... that's a real-deal promise.

Saturday, December 16, 2006


At the midwife's office the other day, I saw this as I was waiting to hit the scales:


A new patient arrived at the doctor's office. The nurse had to ask some routine questions such as, "How tall are you?" The patient replied, "I am five feet, eight inches." When she stepped up to be measured, she was only five feet five inches.

The nurse continued, "What is your weight?" The patient replied, "115 pounds." The scales registered 140 pounds.

The nurse took the patient's blood pressure. She informed her that the reading was high. The patient screamed, "Well of course it is! When I came in here, I was tall and skinny! You've made me short and fat!"

I laughed out loud. Hope you get a kick out of it too.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Three Year Old Musings

Alex, the three and a half year old, is pretty funny. He likes to tell me when I drop him at day care to "be nice to your friends and don't hit your teachers!" before I go to school. He also tells me "Good luck on your tests!" even when I don't have a test. But Monday afternoon on the way home was the conversation to beat it all.....

Alex: "Mama, my penis is itchy."

Me: "Did you clean it last night in the bath?"


"You have to keep it clean and take good care of it. You only get one penis in life so you must take care of it, Alex."

"I want a new penis."

"You can't get a new penis. You only have this one."

"But I want a new penis...a big one like Daddy."

OMG! I about died. Thank goodness I a) did not have anything in my mouth, b) was not visible to him, and c) had an empty bladder (I am sure I would have peed on myself). I was hurting from trying to contain the laughter.

"Well, Alex, Daddy's penis was not always as big as it is now."

"It was little once?"

"Yes, honey. Your penis will grow as you grow up. So relax and take care of growing."

I think we have controlled the situation for now. I can't tell you how difficult if was not to bust out into laughter and tears. Hilarious!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

DONE!! (For now, anyway)

The semester from Hell is over! Yeah!!! Now I have four weeks until the next one starts. What fun. Let's see, I have to clean the house, go through some of the crap in the garage, clean the house, fold the laundry, clean the house, balance the church checkbook, and try to relax.

The relaxamation started today when I met some of my fellow students for lunch/cocktails. There were about twelve of us total that met up at some point today. The core group met at 1130am and by 430pm all but two of the ladies had left. I think we scared the boys off pretty early....wimps! But it was fun to just laugh & relax a little. We all needed it.

As for my grades, well, I know I have three A's so far. Probably will finish the others as B's. Not too bad, but not too great either. Oh well, what are you going to do???

Now, don't you think you owe it to yourself to have a cocktail???